It was in March that I decided to sign up for an online writing class through our local community college. I did it because I have always enjoyed writing. After the death of my daughter, writing seemed to be something that I could pour my heart into without reservation, it helped me as I grieved.
The more folks who read my blog posts, the more I heard that I should pursue more writing and that what I had to say might be helpful, not only for myself, but, for others as well. I do not consider myself a “writer”. But, I like to write. I write the words that come to my mind, travel down and out through my fingertips and onto the keyboard. I write long, loquacious sentences and short, snippy one word lines; I add commas and semicolons everywhere I want, taking liberties like I am an artist who doesn’t care to follow the rules nor cares what anyone thinks about it! So, pursing “writing” in a more professional way, well, that might have been a lofty aspiration. But, I thought I would take the class anyway. So, I signed up for a class on how to get published.
Mistake. Waste of money. Total killjoy to my desire, enjoyment and the emotional elevation I had always experienced with writing. I had writer’s block. Actually, it was worse than writer’s block. It wasn’t that I couldn’t think of anything to write. I just. Did. Not. Want. To.
So, since March, I have not written anything. It was totally unpredictable that a class, which I had hoped would encourage my desire to practice and pursue a skill I enjoyed, thereby bringing me a new sense of gratification, in what had been just a hobby, would render me uninterested in that skill all together.
I have not been published and after that class, I no longer care if I get published. What I care about is that writing has always been the best way that I have been able to express my feelings. If my writing resonates with another, that is great. If it does not, that is okay too. I am in a place in my life where I am just playing it day by day and letting go of the expectations that I have of myself and those expectations that others may have of me.
So, here’s to another unpredictable event, the class did not snuff out my passion for writing all together after all! Let’s hope that this is a blog post that will pop me back up to the place where I once was, the one where I wrote what I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted and let anyone who wanted read it. Thanks to the Daily Post One Word Prompt, “Unpredictable” that helped catapult me back onto the playing field.